Celebrity Sightings

It’s been a big summer for me in terms of seeing people who are mildly interesting.  Celebrities seem to have this sixth sense for when I’m hungover.  For instance, last year I saw Tyra Banks while I was hungover and sitting by the Hudson River eating a Charlies burger.  She was with her trainer.  She was holding a medicine ball.  Hardcore, right?

Then, a few weeks ago, I was sitting on a bench on the Lower East Side drinking one of those terrible energy drinks to try to get rid of another hangover, and who walked by?  Mike Myers.  And he was holding a soccer ball.  Hangovers and balls.  What is it with these celebrities?  Mike and I made eye contact.  I slid off my shades, gave him a head nod.  He mumbled, “Hi,” and smiled awkwardly.  Okay, I’m starting to sound like a romance novel, so really that was it.  He didn’t strip off his blue soccer jersey, and I didn’t pour my energy drink over his hairy abdomen.  Nope.  Contrary to TMZ’s blurry photos, never happened.

Anyway, next celebrity sighting.  Barnes & Noble in Bethesda, Maryland.  That’s right, MATTHEW LESKO.  None other than THE QUESTION MARK GUY!  He was wearing a white suit with lime green question marks.  Very stylish, no?  His salt and pepper strands sparkled under the fluorescent lighting.  He didn’t even seem ADD at all.  Just SEXY.  Anyway…

 

I also saw Madeleine Albright.  And yes, she did look like this:

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