There was one of those creepy men on the subway just now. The kind who operate on this whole new level of creepy–they stare as though you are the Virgin Mary or Lolita or a tall, strong drink that must be picked up and ingested as soon as possible. You look up from your subway reading to find crazed eyes not just staring back at you, but staring back at you as though they have never NOT been staring at you. It’s not normal, I say. Leave me to my New Age self-help spirituality book, dammit!
Thanksgiving is upon us! Things I’m thankful for this year:
- That I’m not still in contact with the 34-year-old guy I met last Thanksgiving.
- That I was not ingested like a tall, strong drink by the subway man.
- That I have a job, especially one that puts me on the subway at the kind of hours during which men looking to ingest tall, strong women roam the cars.
- That I now have approximately three pairs of pants to rotate wearing.
Still a couple more days to tweak the list. If you like lists and indirect references to bestiality, do check out my BILF list from yesterday.