Movie Tie-In Editions Can Go To Hell

It’s very important to be aware of your pet peeves.  You never know when you’re going to need to fill out a MySpace survey asking you to name your biggest one.  Or when you’re going to sit across from someone at a speed dating table demanding to hear your top two…in bed.  Similarly, it’s important to be able to name your most embarrassing moments offhand.  One of my most embarrassing moments involved accidentally referring to a pet dog by the name of a girl I was babysitting for the first time.  In my defense, her name was Teddy.  Which is a perfectly wonderful name, but it is rather species-neutral.

Anyway, one of my biggest pet peeves are those damn movie tie-in edition book covers that announce “NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE!”  They’re the worst idea ever:

I accidentally amputated Elizabeth Berkely's leg here.

I accidentally amputated Elizabeth Berkely's leg here.

And yeah, Showgirls was never a novel.  Anyway, they piss me off because…they’re books!!  It’s great that they were made into movies, but when I read a book, I want to use my own imagination.  Not Martin Scorsese’s, dammit!  I don’t want a picture of Keira Knightly stuck in my head while Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy are having wild, passionate sex.  (It was implicit, but it totally happened.)   I love movies, I love books, but when a book is made into a movie it’s an adaptation.  It’s not the same thing.  So stop acting like it’s the same thing, Harper Collins.  Everyone likes Penguin better.  Simon & Schuster told me.

8 responses to “Movie Tie-In Editions Can Go To Hell

  1. I have been secretly complaining about this for years. I feel foolish holding a book with the cover of a movie poster.

    There is a Showgirls book with essays by the director. It is pretty fascinating, reading about how seriously he took the project. (Showgirls is in my Top 5 fav movies of all time.)

    • Yeah, we studied Showgirls in one of my courses and we read some great articles about it. I bought the DVD for the course, but I wanted it anyway. What else is in your top 5?

  2. Nerdy stuff. Movies that I can watch over and over again and never get sick of.
    Star Wars 6-8
    Star Trek 1-10
    Wet Hot American Summer
    and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang has slowly inched its way in.
    And you?

  3. I haven’t seen Kiss Kiss Bang Bang! It’s at my library, so I’ll definitely be taking it out. And yeah, Wet Hot American Summer is genius.

    I have a lot of trouble when it comes to picking favorites…I’m kind of all over the place. Amelie is on the list. That’s the only one I can say for sure. Then I love those old Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly musicals, but I haven’t seen them all to pick a favorite. And I have a terrible collection of McConaughey-esque romantic comedies. And I have a collection of movies that include a story line about a writer or writing (Finding Forrester, Wonder Boys, Something’s Gotta Give, Romancing the Stone, others) because it’s supposed to inspire me. That collection was put on hold when I realized that more movies include something about writing in them than I can afford. But now I’m just talking about collections when I’m supposed to be picking favorites.

    I don’t know. New Year’s Resolution: be more decisive.

  4. My friend Dee is the dead girl in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Keep an eye out for her once you pick it up from the library.

  5. @Talia
    I mean no offense (but I do mean to tease), and not to be a bah-humbug (and a giant nerd at the same time), but what is Star Wars 6-8?

    Merry Wookiee Christmas!

  6. The only thing I hate more than movie-tie in editions is Oprah book club picks. I worked at a book store and I always did my best to order real editions of books (sans actors and Oprah).

    • madamelibrarian

      artofmymind—Glad to hear it. Seems the pages of books are one of the few places left that provide an escape from Oprah’s face.

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