Toilets, Moustaches, and Other Sexy Topics

Though it’s probably divulging too much, I want to set the scene of my thoughts: Occasionally I blog from the bathroom.  I don’t use it, but I do sit on a closed toilet seat.  Why?  Because it’s sexy.  And my roommate is sleeping and my typing is boisterous. 

Okay, the typing probably wouldn’t disturb her, and Freud might conclude that I’m stuck in the anal phase, but in case you were wondering, yes, yes I do write atop a miracle of modern plumbing.  Take out the shit and it’s just another room.  (Someone tell Andrews McCeel to publish that last bit in their next womanly calendar.)


Just now, before making my way to the toilet, I commuted home from work.  There are all these advertisements up in the subway for Tyler Perry’s new flick, Madea Goes to Jail.  Some smart aleck decided to draw a moustache on Madea’s face. 

Thing is, Madea is ALREADY a man.  It’s one thing to facial hair the New In Town poster’s Renee Zellweger  or the Canon ad’s Maria Sharapova, but Tyler Perry can grow his own.  Way to waste your time with ironic graffiti.  Time to take the magic marker back to the fourth grade, amateur.   


Finally, I never thought I’d find myself writing an obituary, but an important man in my life recently died.  His name was Mr. Coffee and he performed beautifully up until two days ago.  I loved the odors he emitted.  I loved the flirtateous little noises he made that let me know he was working.  Mostly, I loved the jittery feeling I got whenever I was around him. 

Bastard will be missed.

Bastard will be missed.

10 responses to “Toilets, Moustaches, and Other Sexy Topics

  1. you’re wild man…but good movie

  2. I have often suspected that sitting on the toilet may increase one’s brain power. I believe it stimulates certain areas of the nervous system while prohibiting others, allowing for greater blood flow to the regions necessary for technological advance. Take a look at the Native American Peoples or the Aztecs. If they had developed even medieval indoor plumbing, the Europeans would not have so easily over run them.

  3. Of course, I’m not exactly sure how toilet seats come into play with sexy in this whole idea. Honestly, it just makes me uneasy.

    Steven

  4. I mourn your loss. A day without Mr. Coffee is like a day without happiness. I will be around if you need to be consoled during this difficult time.

  5. tell me more please….

  6. madamelibrarian

    thisblog–You’re a Madea fan? THAT’S wild man.

    Steven–As you say…Indoor plumbing has lead to an increase in brain power and with that brain power came violent, conquering tendencies…what could be more sexy than that?

    Ahmnodt Heare–Thank you for your support during this time of unparalleled difficulty.

  7. You used the word boisterous.

    A good vocabulary is really effing hot.

  8. man send me some traffic…..criersmara

  9. madamelibrarian

    Otto Mann–You left a comment: effing hot.

    thisblog–Ok.

  10. hi, madame ..let’s talk

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