Thoughts on going to the bathroom in Post-Christian-Bale-Freak-Out America

Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan were in the women’s room at the Queens Library today–a DVD of Rush Hour 2 was leaning upright behind the toilet seat (you know, right behind where you put your butt).  I would’ve liked to use that stall, except that it was kind of a disaster.  I don’t know about you, but I am all for unisex bathrooms.  I would love unisex bathrooms.  There are so many times when I’ve opted for the men’s room.  Usually, you know, when there are long lines for the women’s room and I’ve been drinking.  But I really do think it’s the more efficient way, as well as a way to improve gender relations, accomodate for the transgendered, and just make the whole discarding of bodily waste thing more interesting.  For example, one Halloween I was waiting for the stall in a men’s room and I was able to meet a man dressed up as Bruce Wayne at the urinal.  That makes, like, three action movie stars/characters I’ve come across in close proximity to a toilet.  And I get so much satisfaction from being able to say I picked up Bruce Wayne at the urinal.  Too much satisfaction.

Speaking of Bruce Wayne, I’m pretty bummed about Christian Bale’s freak-out.  Why is he so ANGRY?  (I cannot get this remix out of my head.)  He needs to find some inner peace and fast.  Maybe he can remake Seven Years in Tibet or something.  Seven Years in TibetAgain.  Brad Pitt and Christian Bale lie restlessly in a tent as prayer flags wave passionately in the Tibetan wind.  Ang Lee will direct it. 

Speaking of faraway lands, thanks to clicking on a Facebook link asking if I’d like to live and work in New Zealand, and subsequently signing up to learn more, I now receive e-mails with subject lines like, “New Zealand needs you,” and most recently, “Free New Zealand ice cream.”

I’ve also begun learning a little of the Maori language.  Kia ora!  (Hello!)   Aotearoa. (‘Land of the long white cloud’.)  I went onto the New Zealand government’s job site and found a librarian position in a prison: responsible for the delivery of library/educational services ‘behind the wire’ to offenders.   Which sounds really exciting!  Skip that whole inmate penpal thing and just get right to the source.  So if I ever do obtain my Master’s in Library Science degree…adventures behind the wire in the land of the long white cloud await me.

6 responses to “Thoughts on going to the bathroom in Post-Christian-Bale-Freak-Out America

  1. gotta love/hate bale- very intense,

    fromnow on he will be
    “Welsh Psyco”



  2. new zealand ice cream . . . mmmmmmmmmmm

  3. I’m planning on watching The Machinist this week to top off all the Bale madness.

    Also, in case anyone happens to be in San Diego–that’s where the free New Zealand ice cream is. Immigration New Zealand will have a booth at the USA Seven Rugby tournament Feb. 14-15. The booth will be manned by New Zealand inmates.

  4. I heard it and I really didn’t think it was that big a deal. Artists are very tempermental and sensitive at the best of times.

    I volunteer as a house manager for the Idaho Dance Theater, and on one occassion the choreographer blew up at me because one of my ushers allowed some patrons to cross the back of the house while the performance was going. I took full responsibility, was like “ok, crazy artist lady, whatever” in my mind and moved on.

    Performers are super tight about distractions when they are on stage.

  5. madamelibrarian

    I don’t know…I’ve performed on stage and it seems to me that if you’re really into the scene and you’re in character, you’re not going to be so easily distracted by a person passing in the back of the house or adjusting a light.

    But every artist is different. And I really dig the freak-out remix, so I’m not complaining. I just can’t imagine being on the receiving end of so much anger…I would be bawling my eyes out.

  6. You poor thing! You must be an artist too, they generally won’t respond well to profanity laced diatribes, better for teamsters and tradesmen to be on the receiving end of those (or unemployed amateur cartoonists doing volunteer work).

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