So Michael Vick, Dwayne Johnson, and Ryan Seacrest Walk Into a Bar…

Note: T0 be determined prize being offered to whoever writes the best ending to the joke started in the title.

Well, because I just had to design my own “sea kitten” on PETA’s website, and then I just had to e-mail it to myself…I’m now on PETA’s mailing list.  Which is fine.  Who wouldn’t want to stay in the know about the latest in the Michael Vick dog fighting scandal goings-on?

Speaking of burly men, I only caught the first five minutes or so of the Grammy’s earlier, but as I may or may not have revealed, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is okay by me (in spite of his big muscles).  He gave a dramatic rendering of the lyrics to Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl (And I Liked It)” that was truly inspiring.  Call me crazy, but I think the guy’s got talent and charisma.  Who else can make ridiculous children’s movies and maintain his dignity?  (Not Vin Diesel…)

My roommate starts a new job tomorrow!!  I’m very proud.  And I’m tired of the writers of “Desperate Housewives” using the bad economy as inspiration for a plotline, so I take it as a step in the right direction.  Life reflects art, or however the saying goes.

Theres absolutely no reason for this photo to be here, except that Desperate Housewives made me think Teri Hatcher which made me think of that five minutes she hooked up with Seacrest.  Sorry.

There's absolutely no reason for this image to be here, except that "Desperate Housewives" made me think Teri Hatcher which made me think of that five minutes she hooked up with Seacrest. Sorry.

Walking home from work a little while ago, two noteworthy things happened:

  1. I learned that the frontman of Spin Doctors is playing a gig in my neighborhood with his current band.
  2. A man smoking marijuana said hello to me as we passed each other on the 12am sidewalk.  After a few paces he asked if I wanted to join him.


  1. I should attend said gig.
  2. I should stop recklessly walking the streets late at night.

P.S. Since this is my blog and I can cry if I want to…today I also concluded that I’m not as mature as I thought and it’s a pretty low feeling.  I could blame it on things like alcohol, the cold weather, or various hormones, but I am an adult.  And I didn’t act like one.

Did that sound like a LiveJournal entry or what?

5 responses to “So Michael Vick, Dwayne Johnson, and Ryan Seacrest Walk Into a Bar…

  1. … and the bar fell down.

    Don’t get mad, but it’s more like a Myspace blog than a LiveJournal blog. (Except you didn’t get dumped by a creep.)

  2. I’m gonna write the best joke ever you wait and see . . .

  3. Ahmodt Heare–Thanks for the joke entry! And thanks for the honesty–always refreshing in a politician.

    Otto Mann–Waiting and anxiously hoping to see.

  4. The P.S. might have sounded a little bit more PostSecret ( ) than LJ, but there’s nothing wrong with occasional bursts of immaturity. The key is to keep things childlike, not childish.

    And speaking of immaturity…

    So Michael Vick, Dwayne Johnson, and Ryan Seacrest walk into a bar, and the bartender says “Seacrest and Johnson, I know what you’re going to drink, but Vick… I’m not so sure.”

    So he brings Seacrest a Seabreeze and Johnson a White Russian. They both ask him, “How did you know?” The bartender shrugs and says, “I just do. But Vick, I don’t know what you want to drink.”

    Feeling excluded, Vick asks the bartender to at least guess, and the bartender obliges. “Well, my first thought was that you might want a Whiskey Car Bomb, but I thought you weren’t much of a whiskey fan. So then I thought, perhaps you’re a Long Island Ice Tea kinda guy, but then I realized you probably didn’t like tequila.”

    Vick clapped his hands in anticipation and turned to Seacrest and Johnson. “I can’t believe how close he is.”

    Then the bartender broke a bat over his head.

  5. (oops hit sumbit)

    Johnson stood up and shouted, “What did you that for?”

    Then the bartender replied, “He wanted to have sex on the beach!”

    Then Seacrest explained, “That’s a drink!”

    The bartender picked up pieces of his bat and helped Vick up. “My bad.”

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