Of Mice and Put Together Men

Note: I apologize for the title…I couldn’t help it.

There are these restaurants that I walk by on my way to and from work.  They’re on Park Avenue.  They’re expensive, trendy happy hour hang outs for professionally dressed people.  Nothing against professionally dressed people, but professional dress gets me down.  I don’t feel like myself when I’m in interview/stuffy workplace attire.  I feel like a mediocre presentation.  A facade that doesn’t tell the truth about its interior. 

Anyway, I guess the truth is, these restaurants and their patrons intrigue me.  They are places I would never choose to spend my money or time in, yet a gaggle of people do.  What is their deal?  Don’t they get exhausted maintaining the put together image these establishments require?  Don’t they get tired of being worldly, cultured, and sophisticated?  Don’t they ever just want to drink PBRs and sit on questionable toilet seats?

A few weeks ago when I was leaving work, I saw one of these worldly, cultured, sophisticated creatures leaving one of these trendy restaurants.  The restaurant was Dos Caminos and the creature was:

Constantine Maroulis of "American Idol" and now "Rock of Ages" fame.

Constantine Maroulis of "American Idol" and now "Rock of Ages" fame.

He rushed into a chauffeured black SUV with a gaggle of adoring women.  Which, you know, is good for him and stuff.  He must feel like a real rock star.  Rock stars only hang out at the trendiest of places, right?  I don’t know.  I don’t have strong feelings about Constantine Maroulis,  BUT, I do have strong feelings about another creature I saw in the very same restaurant two nights ago: 


I know I’ve established my love for pigeons time and again, but I don’t know if I’ve said nearly as much about my love for mice.  I honestly think they’re wonderful.  And I just love that Dos Caminos has them.  What can ya do?  Mice, roaches, unpleasant sidewalk odors–these things make up the city experience! … But I can’t imagine the typical Dos Caminos patron not being outraged at knowing their fancy happy hour, first date destination is also a favorite spot for vermin.

4 responses to “Of Mice and Put Together Men

  1. I relish the fact that you used the word “creature” to refer to Constantine.

    I also relish the fact that you know who he is/recognized him.

    (ASIDE: I’m trying to bring “relish” back. I’m like the JT of condiments/verbs.)

  2. Costantcrap and vermin go together like chicken and dumplins. It’s fitting!

  3. sgottahurt–You’re using “relish” as I’m using “gaggle”. Keep fighting the good fight.

    freedavidcook–Wow! I’ve never heard “Constantcrap” before. That is truly a great moniker (just in terms of the images it conjures, not in terms of whether I agree or disagree that those images should in any way be associated with Mr. Maroulis).

  4. He is vermin, all right. He is a masogynistic pig. If it takes me the rest of my life I will make sure the whole world knows it.

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