Are the news channels now talking about something other than the hurricane? If you experienced the hurricane, I hope you’re doing well. If you’re dealing with other issues in life, I also hope you’re doing well. If you’re dealing with issues and dealing with the hurricane, yes. Basically I hope everyone is doing well.
I have six minutes of battery left on the laptop. I got out of bed to write an e-mail to someone I think I did wrong. I don’t like feeling that I did wrong to anyone.
Anyway, with the remaining power, I thought I’d share a video from my new TV series. It’s not really a TV series. It’s only a TV series in my mind.
Posted in America, Celebrities, Comedy, Culture, Dreams, Entertainment, film, Humor, Life, Pop Culture, television, Thoughts
Tagged hurricane, NBC's "The Voice", Santeria, Sublime
This looks like the silliest movie ever:
I can’t wait.
If you’re at all interested in matters of comedy or depression or life or human beings, this episode of this podcast is worth listening to:
And if you’re at all interested in poetry or rap or people who have sex with Beyonce, this clip is worth a view:
And if you’re at all interested in where I’ve been the last three months, this explains it (to a certain degree):
Posted in Celebrities, Comedy, Culture, Entertainment, Life, Poetry, Pop Culture, Writing
Tagged depression, Jay-Z, marc maron, rap, todd hanson, WTF podcast
I’ve got this new project. It’s about Kevin Bacon, and me, and my life. It’s about finding the purpose of my life in 90 days. It’s about how Kevin Bacon doesn’t relate to that at all, except that he’s a celebrity and therefore has all the answers to life’s big questions. It’s a satire. But it’s also my life. So it’s serious.
That’s where I’ll mostly be until July 4th. Come see me there! HelpMeBacon.com
Small moments make me happy. Like the other day when it was 4pm and I hadn’t left the house yet, so decided to walk to the corner to put a Netflix in the mailbox. Just to get out. Just to be able to say, “Yeah, I got out today.” And on the way back, I saw a man drop a one dollar bill, so I said, “You dropped a dollar!” As he picked it up, he said, “Oh, I appreciate that. That’s gonna be my lucky lottery dollar.” And I thought, wow. If I hadn’t left the house, that man would have lost that dollar forever. Someone else would be in possession of that dollar. Thank God I exist. Thank God I make such an impact on the world.
Small moments make me incredibly sad, too. Friday night I saw a one-man performance in Brooklyn. It was really good. It’s about AIDS and being about the same age as AIDS and it’s profound and funny and deeply personal and contemplative. I greatly enjoyed being in the audience. The show wasn’t even the thing that made me incredibly sad, though. It was when I got lost in Brooklyn after the show. I hate having to ask for directions. I hate not doing it all on my own. But finally I saw a woman who looked like she wouldn’t judge me for needing directions at 10pm in Brooklyn, but when I said Excuse me, she just looked at me and shook her head and kept walking. So I called after her, in this sad, little girl voice, “Do you know where the closest subway is?” She didn’t pause, she didn’t call back, she didn’t do anything. She’s so jaded by life and the city and life in this city that it’s safe for her to assume that everyone wants to harm her or take her money. She can no longer be bothered. I can’t really blame her. But it still made me cry. (Though maybe it was also a delayed release of emotion about the AIDS epidemic.)
I guess the thing about small things is who’s to say they’re small. Who’s to say that small things are not sometimes the biggest things. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t cry over spilt milk. I don’t know. In my experience, if I’m crying after spilling the milk, it’s usually because that small tragedy brings into focus all the bigger tragedies I’m dealing (or not dealing) with. Sometimes the biggest stuff is too big to wrap our heads around. You need to lose a dollar to even realize…fuck. If I don’t get a job soon I’m going to have to beg on the streets. You need to have one small shot of liquor too many to realize I have a big problem.
What am I getting at. Mmmh. You know, someone wise probably said, “Life is nothing but small things.” Or, “Sweat only in moderation.” I saw men on the street make a cardboard sign that said, “We want money for beer.” I saw a man in the subway holding a sign that said, “Unemployed college grad, cum laude, #Not Winning.” And I thought, you referenced a Charlie Sheen catch phrase and Twitter hash tags on your cardboard sign. That’s an odd choice for a cardboard sign.
I don’t think I’ll make a point. Maybe I already made one. I’m not sure. But the library closes in 30 minutes and I need to apply for some jobs before then…
Posted in America, Celebrities, Culture, Life, Thoughts, Writing
Tagged AIDS, brooklyn, charlie sheen, dan fishback, money, thirtynothing, winning
There’s an ambiguousness to this blog. For a whole year I think it had a tongue in cheek tone to it. And more lately it’s been pretty personal. More contemplative and serious even. But something that’s remained constant in its two and a half years is pigeons–and how much I love them.
The About page has described me as “a pursuer of creative outlets with a deep love and curiosity for all things pigeon,” which I think sums me up pretty well. If I could only tell people two things about myself, I’d feel pretty satisfied if they only knew about my creativity and my feelings for pigeons.
All this is on my mind because I’m in countdown mode for the new Mike Tyson show on Animal Planet that debuts THIS SUNDAY, March 6th–“Taking on Tyson.”
“The first day I fought I must’ve been a ten year old kid. This is the most frightening day of my life. The reason for the fight was because the guy ripped the head off my pigeon. This is the first thing I ever loved in my life.”
I don’t want to get too excited for this show. I don’t know a whole lot about pigeon racing. I don’t know a whole lot about Mike Tyson. But I think this show is going to be an interesting look at a sensitive, provocative man. Probably a lot of people will tune in because it’s a little strange and funny–but that’s okay. The things we laugh at have truth in them. And often the things we make fun of are the things we don’t want to take the time to consider–because they challenge something we’ve always held to be true: fighters are mean, men like Mike Tyson are tough, pigeons are just stupid birds. I don’t think any of those things are true. And that’s why I’m excited to watch.
Posted in America, Celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Life, Men, Pop Culture, television, Thoughts, TV Shows
Tagged animal planet, mike tyson, pigeon racing, pigeons, taking on tyson
I really love awards shows. In the past few weeks I’ve watched the Golden Globes, the SAGs, part of the Independent Spirit Awards, and last night the Oscars.
Last year I posted part of an acceptance speech that inspired me. This year I recorded the broadcast, but I couldn’t bring myself to fast forward through any of the speeches because I kept thinking of last year and how if I had fast forwarded through the Best Original Score category, I would have missed something pretty great.
Pretty great this year was when David Seidler won for Best Original Screenplay for The King’s Speech. He’s an older gentleman and when he got to the stage he had to ask Josh Brolin where the microphone was. And one of the first things he said was, “My father always said to me I would be a late bloomer. I believe I am the oldest person to win this particular award. I hope that record is broken quickly and often.”
He went on to mention his own struggle with a stammer. I think I loved his speech even more than Tom Hooper’s when he thanked his mom for making The King’s Speech happen.
After I finished watching I thought for a moment about why I love awards shows so much. I find myself smiling through most of the 3+ hours. If you haven’t placed monetary bets on the winners, most people agree that these shows of excess and ego are boring. So why do they leave me feeling so…good? I mean, I even love the In Memorium segment–honoring deceased people I usually have never heard of.
If I’m really honest with myself, the reason I love these Hollywood awards shows is because I think I’ll be there one day. I don’t particularly have a plan on how that will happen. And I won’t be bitter or resentful if it doesn’t happen. I don’t want to live a life of excess or ego or celebrity, but I do want to live a creative life and a passionate life. So, you know. Why not.
Posted in America, Celebrities, Culture, Dreams, Entertainment, film, Life, Movies, Thoughts
Tagged awards shows, david seidler, the academy awards, the king's speech, the oscars
Today I woke up and I baked cupcakes. The motivation came from wanting to give one to someone I love. But before I did that I was reading status updates on Facebook off of my phone, and someone paid tribute to this forever beautiful and gracious lady:
“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.”
What a broad.
So back to the cupcakes. I prepared a box mix of marble fudge. And it instructs you to pour the fudge mix on afterwards, so it ended up creating some cool designs (because I didn’t try too hard to achieve a marble effect). They’re like the Rorschach Ink Blot Test! What do you see:
P.S. Speaking of box mixes with which to make not nutritious cupcakes, I HIGHLY recommend checking out the first two episodes of “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.” He’s completely British and brilliant.
Posted in America, Celebrities, Culture, Food, Life, Men, Pop Culture, Rant, Rave, Women
Tagged barbara bush, cupcakes, jamie oliver, love
I’m forever indebted to the man behind MonkeyBlogMonkeyDo for sending me the juiciest bit of pigeon news perhaps in the history of pigeon news:
Animal Planet is making a show about Mike Tyson’s quest to become a champion pigeon racer!!
Thank God. And about time. I don’t own a TV, but I’m going to find a friend with a DVR and live at their house, watching episodes over and over again, until I slowly disintegrate into their couch.
I remember the day I learned that Mike Tyson loved pigeons. And one day I will be telling my grandchildren about this day, the one when the MonkeyBlogMonkeyDo guy sent me this link.
My favorite part of that article is that I can now steal one of the commentors ideas of framing this magazine cover in their house:
Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life’s quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result–eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly–in you. —Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything
That same, shockingly, goes for all of these people:
Posted in Celebrities, Culture, Life, Men, Pop Culture, Rant, Rave
Tagged bill bryson, existence, jay leno, jersey shore, kim jong-il