Tag Archives: bruce jenner

Happy Spring

Warning: Nostalgia ahead.

Suddenly things are happening.  It’s as though I’ve been chanting a transformation mantra for hours each day.  Only I haven’t because the transformation mantra was given to me by members of a cult.  So, it must just be the vernal equinox.

The daffodils and the crocuses are almost in bloom!  The days are longer.  (I get outside before dark without even meaning to.)  Bruce Jenner is making it onto the golf course multiple times a week and his hair is starting to bleach in the sun.  Isn’t life beautiful?

Speaking of beautiful, I’ve been thinking about video games a lot lately.  I don’t play them.  I’m pretty terrible at them…except for Wii Tennis and American Idol.  But when I was younger, I would watch my brothers play for hours.  And then, when they left to build skateboard ramps out of plywood or give their lunch money to the local drug cartel, I would try my hand.  Below is level one of a game that I don’t think I ever enjoyed playing, but played regardless.  I was usually killed off by one of the elderly women with grocery bags:

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Another Contributor to Chronic Depression and Boyish Giggle Fits

I really don’t want to talk about Ryan Seacrest, except to ask, who is letting him create all these crappy reality television series that are contributing to the downfall of society and WHY?  Who knew that he’d rise from co-host of American Idol with Brian Dunkleman to this uncontrollable executive producer of soul-rotting reality television??  I mean, I love Keeping Up With The Kardashians as much as the next girl, (Where else can you turn for answers about what to do when your mom accidentally distributes a naughty calendar meant for Reggie Bush to all the localhahahaha newsstands?  That episode helped me in profound ways.) but when will it stop??

The one thing that redeems Keeping Up With The Kardashians (slightly) is Bruce Jenner.  I especially like his silly plastic surgery face and how he flees the house every chance he gets to play golf.  But then again, any man that is responsible for producing Brody Jenner has some explaining to do. 

 

Brody Jenner, thanks to his appearances on The Hills, is getting his own competition-based reality show on MTV called “Bromance.”  Basically…pathetic, materialistic, unhappy young men compete to take Spencer Pratt’s place in Jenner’s posse of pathetic, materialistic, unhappy young men who are soon-to-be off everyone’s Hollywood radar.  But until then, the ratings will afford Seacrest infinite lifetimes worth of teeth whitening treatments:

It reminds me of the beginning of Clueless, except that it’s “reality.”  I like how Lauren Conrad shows up to ask, “One night stands.  What’s your opinion of them?”  Cue boyish giggle fit!  I also like when Brody goes, “Who knew guys cry this much?”  Maybe they’re crying because it’s a sad day when young men aspire to be one of your bros.  When Frankie, a current Brody bro, showed up on an episode The Kardashians  he taped the two youngest girls (age 13 and 11) POLE DANCING.   

Anyway, the only silver lining I see in all this is more material for The Soup.