The First Thursday in September
I stop in Bryant Park and watch the men
playing ping pong at 10:30 at night on a Thursday.
They bring their own paddles and balls–
they’re serious. Over where the grass usually is
other men are busy. They set up a tent.
Maybe for Fashion Week. I guess for Fashion Week.
I forget it’s Fall, unofficially, considering Labor Day.
I only stop in hopes one of the men will invite me to play,
but after I try and fail to catch a stray ball
that flies near my head and one of the men says, “Good try,”
(in a way that makes me think he found it endearing that
I’d even attempted as it was obviously futile considering
my vagina) I walk off.
In line for the public restroom the two women behind me
talk about a bartender–
“You should totally marry him.” “Yeah,” the other one nods.
She describes the way he peers into her eyes over the bar
as she orders: “Intense.” They nod.
“He’s dreamy.” “Yes, dreamy. That’s
a good way to describe him.”
A door opens and a person emerges.
It’s my turn and I take a piss.
Posted in America, Boys, Culture, Humor, Life, Men, Poetry, Rant, Rave, Thoughts, Women, Writing
Tagged bryant park, fashion week, labor day, ping pong, piss, public restrooms, vagina
Least interesting pick-up line I’ve heard in a long time: “Can I borrow your scarf? I’d really like to. No? Can I borrow your name, then?” Does that ever work anywhere, never mind outside of a Queens bar on a Wednesday night at 3am?
A much better way to go about it is to sit down next to someone in a place offering free public wi-fi and ask them how the connection is working. That’s what this nice guy from Nepal did to me a week ago. I’d had WAY too much coffee, so I couldn’t stop smiling no matter what he said even though I wasn’t remotely interested. He asked me what I like to do in New York, and I said, “I like Bryant Park, Central Park, and the Hudson River.” I was just trying to list really vague things so that he wouldn’t track me down and rape me or anything. He got really excited about my list, though, and he said, “We like the same things!!” He was a balding, 35 year old IT guy. Then he asked me about the skating rink at Bryant Park and said we should go together sometime. It was pretty awkward, but at least he didn’t ask to borrow my scarf.
Anyway, Halloween is over. Saturday (Nov. 1st) they were playing Christmas songs at the mall. I’ve had trouble keeping track of the time of the year lately and I said, “But it’s not even Halloween yet.” What is wrong with me? Okay, I was hungover, but still. I get disorientated really easily. And time is less fixed when you work part-time and at night. You don’t have to plan ahead for a Monday, November 17th board meeting, you just have to tell yourself, hey, go to work on Wednesday night. Which makes it easy to forget what season you’re in apparently. I love it.
Sometimes it seems like everyone you meet is completely crazy. There was this dude, Dave, on the 7 train at 3am last night who was kind of squatting there. He said he’d just gotten back from India. He read me some mantras in Sanskrit. He complained about it being too cold on trains that go above ground (apparently the E train is good for sleeping). I touched his meditation beads. It was a pretty intimate thing, except that he seemed completely out of his mind. Then it was my stop and we parted ways. He said, “I’ll probably never see you again.” And I said, “Yeah, we’ll see.”
I love New York.
Posted in Culture, Friends, Hangovers, Humor, Life, Men, Random, Thoughts, Women, Writing
Tagged bryant park, christmas songs, coffee, halloween, Hangovers, ice skating, india, meditation beads, nepal, pick-up lines, scarves, squatting, time-space continuum