I take pride in the strange search terms that are often used to find my blog. I want to stencil them on a wall or stitch them into a throw pillow, and then use them as physical proof that I am, in fact, strange. Maybe I don’t need to prove that. It’s kind of a strange impulse to feel the need to prove one’s strangeness–in the same way that some people go to extreme lengths to prove their manhood by buying big fancy cars or shooting big fancy guns.
Anyway, someone typed “how money is a red cardinal bird worth”, and ended up here. First of all, I like the omission of the word “much”. And I also like that someone is trying to sell a “red cardinal bird”–so specific! Had they just said “cardinal”, then someone may have thought they were trying to sell the female variety which is more of a brownish color, OR someone may have thought they were thinking of auctioning off a senior ecclesiastical official in the Catholic Church. Personally, I think birds are way more attuned to God than oh, say, Pietro Bembo over here. And therefore, an all-around better investment.
Cardinals aside, the only other noteworthy search terms of late have been “vagina” (still) and “Gary Busey”. I guess I also take pride in being inane.
Posted in Life, Men, Thoughts
Tagged cardinals, cars, catholicism, gary busey, guns, manhood, pietro bembo, red cardinal birds, vagina
As an unpublished blogger…(aside from the college lit magazine and an essay in a textbook about MTV’s NEXT that somehow got published even though I cited this YouTube clip:
“Molly was cool, but if I wanted to date a virgin, I’d date my mom!”
“Do you know who MY father is?”
Must be the Catholic upbringing in me, but it reduces me to teary eyed laughter.)
…so as I was saying, as a semi-unpublished blogger, I found the new Village Voice’s cover story an interesting read. Confession: usually I skip to the back for Free Will Astrology and Savage Love. Sometimes I read a few paragraphs of Musto. Confession #2: I don’t understand those really scary, animosity-filled bloggers who spend all their time criticizing things. Criticizing politicians: AWESOME. Criticizing every book or film you come upon: Why? This blog is still pretty new, but if I’m going to take the time to talk about a book or author, 9 times out of 10 it’ll be to give it a positive plug.
Maybe I’m just not angry enough. The only vaguely angry thing I’ve written in the past week was calling William Shatner terrible and Candice Bergen annoying. I get it, though. There’s a lot to be angry about. People are getting laid off, people can’t find jobs. It’s the holidays. I can’t afford my weekly ration of Charles Shaw. (That link is only 1.5 years old and already the once-called “Two-Buck Chuck” is up to $2.99+tax.) Anywho, I have nothing else to say. It’s just that it’s raining and I’m at the Internet cafe and I have a five-block walk uphill ahead of me. Maybe that’s what separates me from other bloggers: They’re angry, I’m lazy.
Posted in America, Books, Celebrities, Culture, economy, Entertainment, Hangovers, Humor, Life, Politics, Pop Culture, religion, television, Thoughts, TV Shows, Writing
Tagged anger, astrology, bloggers, catholicism, charles shaw, dating shows, jesus, laziness, michael musto, mtv, next, reality television, savage love, the village voice, trader joe's, wine