Tag Archives: church

Happy Ash Wednesday!

JESUS (motioning to the cross he lugs as he bleeds and sweats): "Carry?" KERRY (lost in thought about ketchup): "Yeah, that's me."

I completely forgot about the occasion.  Then something reminded me, then being reminded reminded me of a poem I wrote.  You may have read it in the 2008 edition of a college lit magazine.  If not:

If It Exists, Me and My Dirty Feet Are Going to Hell

My feet are so dirty from walking around the city all day in flip-flops.
A chunk of tar got jammed in the back of them and the heel of my
foot looks like Christians’ foreheads on Ash Wednesday.

Ash Wednesday was always my least favorite obligatory
church-going day.  “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…”
I haven’t been to church in ages.  Mom used to ask me to
go with her again, but on Easter Sunday she didn’t.
“And back to dust you shall return.”

Probably because I told her how I don’t like
the Book of Genesis.  It’s so sexist.  I told her it
sucks that Eve’s supposed transgression tainted
all women for eternity.  I’m glad she ate that apple!
Girl power! Stupid serpent.  Stupid Adam.
I don’t see anyone blaming them.  Or how about God?
He created the tree.

The Bible is weird.  Religion is weird.
But people believe and I guess that’s good.
I don’t know when I stopped.  Maybe I never did
in the first place.

I should wash my feet.  That one time in the Bible
people washed Jesus’ feet.  Good for him.
I can do it myself.

Not To Get All Preachy, But…

The roommate and I decided to go to church today.  It seemed like a good idea–it will make the Mom happy, it’s a step towards better integrating into the community, and those hymns can be damn fun to sing along with. 

Those were the general thoughts, as opposed to ones like–I need to save my soul, or, I hear Father Kirkpatrick is a real fox in his ornate robe.

Anyway, it’s a beautiful church, but I don’t think I’ll go back.  Not for any one reason, but just because it didn’t feel right.  I felt like I was pretending, like whatever spiritual fulfillment I’m looking for would not be reached within those walls. 

The sermon was about an Air Force pilot that uses his talents to draw Jesus’ face out of exhaust smoke in the sky.  I had a little difficulty understanding the priest, but it was something along those lines.  So all I could think was, that’s great, but he better be doing it on his own time…  But not great!   Those Jesus faces are killing the planet, one greenhouse gaseous cheekbone, eyelid, nostril at a time. 

If you disagree with what Ive written so far, just relocate yourself to the site this came from.

"Thou shalt not steal" photos from bizarre religious websites...

Before mass ended an announcement was made by a young girl, probably in her mid-teens.  She informed us that 45 million fetuses had been “murdered” since 1973 with Roe vs. Wade.  And to send a message to “the new administration,” parishioners were urged to sign up for an upcoming trip to DC on a free shuttle bus to a pro-life march. 

I want very much to march in DC, but not at a pro-life rally.  A free shuttle bus to a protest comes along and of course it’s for a cause I disagree with.  So much for a generous God.  But you know, here’s the silver lining–there is a new administration on its way in.  So scary zealous pilots (like John McCain) can keep scrawling their crap in the sky.  But I have faith that decisions for the greater good will be scrawled where it counts.