Tonight I walked up Park Avenue a little after 2 a.m. I do this fairly often. I don’t find it scary, but I’d never tell my mom I do it. It’s pretty uneventful. Occasionally a cab will slow down in hopes you’ll flag it. Sometimes a hotel doorman will make eye contact with you. Very rarely will you ever pass another human being.
But tonight was different. An opportunity presented itself. The stars aligned and suddenly I was face to face with my destiny: a ringing pay phone.
So I stopped. Looked at it. Wished I had actually seen Phone Booth. Thought about all the communicable diseases they say lurk on pay phones. Remembered how Conan mentioned that “in a phone booth” is the number one place people fantasize about having sex. Became really tempted to answer. But in the end, all I did was laugh, say, “No, don’t do that,” and kept walking.
Even as I turned and took that first step, though, I was surprised and disappointed. Had you asked me only hours ago if I was the kind of person who would answer a random ringing pay phone, I feel like I would have adamantly declared, “Yes. Yes I am that kind of person.” Only tonight proved differently. Destiny called and I kept walking. It’s kind of like that Hillary Clinton ad–the “who do you want answering the White House phone at 3am?” ad. That’s how she must have felt when she wasn’t chosen as the Democratic nominee…oh. I guess I’m not the kind of person they want answering the phone. Except she at least TRIED to answer it.
Still, it’s probably for the best. Because who calls a pay phone on Park Avenue at two in the morning?