It seems as though I’m always claiming to be in the midst of a life crisis on here. And that’s because I am. But mostly in a good way. It’s kind of like the growing pains phase that kids go through during their spurts. Sure, it hurts…but once you’re on the other side, you’re going to be like seven feet tall! You’ll be able to see your house from here.
Mental growing pains just might be even more uncomfortable. Coming of age pains. It’s like having a fire in your belly but not knowing where to focus that energy. The steam engine is raring to go, but the engineers have yet to lay the tracks. Everyday you’re like, “Get to fuckin’ work, engineers!” And they just stare blankly back at you. Because you haven’t given them the blueprint. They can’t do shit until you decide where you’re going.
Okay, that’s enough of that. All I’m getting at is that there’s an interview with Jane Campion, the director of Bright Star, in this week’s edition of the A.V. Club. She had some things to say about John Keats’ idea of “negative capability” — “the idea that great artists accept that not everything can be resolved.” Here’s what the bespectacled woman said:
…that idea that great men have a way of managing to stand within doubt and uncertainties, mysteries, without irritably searching after fact or reason… And I think it’s a very helpful thought. Because there is that sort of feeling that people don’t know what to do with gaps in their lives. It’s a scary notion, but actually, if you can stand in space just for a little while, a new door will open, or you’ll be able to see in the dark after a while. You’ll adjust.
Thanks Jane. Thanks John.
It’s a liberating idea. And it holds true for me. The more I try to force myself to see where I should be headed, the less clear I become. But if I let go, accept where I am, take deep breaths…signs start to appear. And pretty soon the train will leave the station. I think…