This is the best thing I saw today:
If you can’t make it out, that’s material knitted to resemble my favorite thing–a pigeon! I like that it’s a fake pigeon pecking what appears to be a real plant. This is exactly the kind of window display I would put together if that were my trade.
Here’s the first image that comes up when you do a Google search of “worst window displays”:
I was expecting something worse than that, to be honest. There’s nothing all that shocking about it. Though the mannequin on the right looks a lot like a Canadian man I once knew.
Here’s “bad window displays”:
I appreciate that the smallest mannequin’s eyes are being covered. I hate when tender-aged mannequins are exposed to explicit sexual acts.
That reminds me of a newspaper article from today’s New York Times about the new MTV series “Skins.” There have been ads ALL OVER the subways the past couple weeks. I didn’t catch the premiere Monday night, but I suspected that the show involved teenagers doing drugs and having sex. And the article confirmed that and then some, saying, “In recent days, executives at the cable channel became concerned that some scenes from the provocative new show ‘Skins’ may violate federal child pornography statutes.” That’s because all of the actors MTV gathered are under 18, the youngest being 15, and they’re filming scenes featuring “simulated masturbation, implied sexual assault, and teenagers disrobing and getting into bed together.”
I don’t care if it is a realistic portrait of life for modern day teenagers. It still upsets me. It mainly upsets me because I was not this breed of teenager. I was not wild and adventurous, trying new substances and boys at every turn. I was naive and confused and awkward. The kids in these ads plastering the subways are sexy and confident and know how to apply makeup so well. Is this realistic? Or is this just the reality that MTV wants to sell and attract impressionable viewers with?
This photo makes me think of The Winter’s Tale — that whole statue come to life bit. Art imitating life, life imitating art. Who knew surgical masks could be so ironic? It’s kind of like that Aerosmith video, too, in which the computer nerd creates and brings to life his perfect woman: Alicia Silverstone.
Okay, it’s nothing like that. But so long as I’m on the topic–I was thinking about this the other day: I’m convinced that watching hypersexual music videos on MTV and VH1 had an effect on me–particularly that *NSync one: “Baby, I can’t understand / Just why we can’t be lovers”. Still deciding whether the effect was adverse or not… (And before I switch topics again–I need to bring up Liv Tyler pumping gas in those leather pants. Dear Stephen, your mouth terrifies me, but I like your scarves and I like your daughter…)
Okay, enough about my childhood. I hate to admit this, but…thinking about the apocalypse gets me off. It captures my imagination. And it’s not just me–everyone loves a tragedy. No one feels as alive as when the possibility of death is unignorably imminent (which must explain why Keith Richards is still kicking). We spend so much of our lives ignoring our mortality that when it comes barking at the door, we’re not surprised–we send grandma to the store to grab some biscuits and a chew toy.
So, yeah. Swine flu. Apocalypse next week? Probably not. But it’s still sorta fun to think about. And it also puts the pressure on. It brings to mind Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dyin'” in which the man with the two months to live diagnosis finally embraces life by going fishing and ditching his pride to grow a pair and tell people he loves them.
Shit. Country songs can be surprisingly profound. What should I be doing with my existence? Shouldn’t a possible apocalypse via pig-related pandemic be enough to open my eyes to the answer? It’s gotta be something bigger than writing a blog post about Liv Tyler’s ass. But then again, maybe it doesn’t.
Posted in Life, Thoughts
Tagged aerosmith, alicia silverstone, apocalypse, country songs, liv tyler's ass, mortality, mtv, pigs, snouts, swine flu, tim mcgraw, vh1
As an unpublished blogger…(aside from the college lit magazine and an essay in a textbook about MTV’s NEXT that somehow got published even though I cited this YouTube clip:
“Molly was cool, but if I wanted to date a virgin, I’d date my mom!”
“Do you know who MY father is?”
Must be the Catholic upbringing in me, but it reduces me to teary eyed laughter.)
…so as I was saying, as a semi-unpublished blogger, I found the new Village Voice’s cover story an interesting read. Confession: usually I skip to the back for Free Will Astrology and Savage Love. Sometimes I read a few paragraphs of Musto. Confession #2: I don’t understand those really scary, animosity-filled bloggers who spend all their time criticizing things. Criticizing politicians: AWESOME. Criticizing every book or film you come upon: Why? This blog is still pretty new, but if I’m going to take the time to talk about a book or author, 9 times out of 10 it’ll be to give it a positive plug.
Maybe I’m just not angry enough. The only vaguely angry thing I’ve written in the past week was calling William Shatner terrible and Candice Bergen annoying. I get it, though. There’s a lot to be angry about. People are getting laid off, people can’t find jobs. It’s the holidays. I can’t afford my weekly ration of Charles Shaw. (That link is only 1.5 years old and already the once-called “Two-Buck Chuck” is up to $2.99+tax.) Anywho, I have nothing else to say. It’s just that it’s raining and I’m at the Internet cafe and I have a five-block walk uphill ahead of me. Maybe that’s what separates me from other bloggers: They’re angry, I’m lazy.
Posted in America, Books, Celebrities, Culture, economy, Entertainment, Hangovers, Humor, Life, Politics, Pop Culture, religion, television, Thoughts, TV Shows, Writing
Tagged anger, astrology, bloggers, catholicism, charles shaw, dating shows, jesus, laziness, michael musto, mtv, next, reality television, savage love, the village voice, trader joe's, wine