Tag Archives: netflix

Redneck Weekend ’08

The wise men of Oasis once said, “Don’t look back in anger.”  An even wiser man, George Michael once said, “I gotta think twice.”  Yesterday I was feeling pretty stressed out financially, professionally, romantically, metaphysically.  But today I woke up and I thought to myself, you know what?  It really doesn’t matter because I’m going line dancing tonight. 

It’s one of my best friend’s birthdays tomorrow, so she planned this whole weekend full of hick-tastic, redneck festivities.  Which is usually how weekends go with her, anyway.  We’ve been going to this line dancing club, Illusions, for a couple years now.  It’s in the middle of nowhere in Connecticut.  You walk in and it’s like entering a new dimension (probably).  Guys in NASCAR t-shirts and relaxed fit Levis, girls in other crazy stuff, and the weirdest thing is…everyone is an expert line dancer.  EVERYONE.  We’ve always ended up there on a Friday or Saturday night, but tonight, if you’ve been keeping track, is a Thursday.  Thursday nights at Illusions are instructional nights.  So we’re going to learn how to Boot Scoot Buggy and Devil Went Down to Georgia with the best of them.  Because every song has its own unique dance.  It’s so bizarre and beautiful.

My friend met her ex-boyfriend because of an Illusions trip.  I would not recommend this.  

Then Friday night is the last country concert of our country megaticket.  If you’ve never been to a country concert, you really are missing out.  Such good tailgating.  And everyone pretends to be a hick, so it’s fun to decide who really is and who is just pretending.  And people OD and stuff like at normal concerts.

Then Saturday we’re going to the Big E, or the Eastern States Exposition.  It’s just this huge, excessive fair.  You can get fried dough and you can get the latest in kitchen cleaning supplies (as seen on tv).  So that’s fun. 

You may be wondering where I’m getting the funds to do all this, and I’m wondering that myself.  Netflix did agree to give me back my $18.01 yesterday, though!  Which surprised me.  FYI, if you ever need to call Netflix, their customer service number is not on their website.  You have to go to this other website called Hacking Netflix to find it. 

You may also be wondering what you can do for fun this weekend.  This looks slightly more redneck than what I’m doing, but Nick’s GQ Birthday sounds pretty awesome, too.  If you’re a dude you’re gonna have to wax your eyebrows and make sure you have hair gel by the gallon for that one.  But have a blast.

Unemployment Activities

If I hear “The market is bad right now” one more time I will curl up in the fetal position and sing the chorus of “It’s the End of the World as We Know It” repeatedly. I always did love REM. Eventually I will switch over to rocking back and forth to “Everybody Hurts.”

The weeks keep going by and I keep not finding a job. It’s preposterous! It requires patience! But I’ve been keeping busy, despite the fact that I’m down to $41.39 in my checking account. Yesterday was a real eye-opener: Netflix emailed to let me know that the hold I put on my account has been removed. Yeah, the hold that I put on the account when I left DC, before finding an apartment in NY. At the time I figured that of course I would be able to afford Netflix by September 15th. It didn’t occur to me that the market is really bad right now and everybody hurts and it’s the end of the world as we know it.

I immediately cancelled the membership, but those jerks charged me for the month anyway. And I don’t have the mmph to bitch them out. Perhaps once I have some coffee…

Don’t even feel bad for me, though. Because I’m so irresponsible. I went to the Brooklyn Book Festival on Sunday and spent, like, 35 bucks. How come I didn’t have the sense to stop and think to myself, “Wait, isn’t that 50% of your entire net worth right now?” Denial? Hangover? Check and check.

I can’t really say I have buyer’s regret, though, because I found the most exciting book: Superdove: How the Pigeon Took Manhattan…And the World by Courtney Humphries. When you bought a $5 tote bag from the Independent Booksellers of NYC you got the book free!! Because IBNYC just made the pigeon their mascot. And if you’ve read my About Me section you know that pigeons are my absolute favorite.

What else. I was a hair model for Vidal Sassoon. I had a date with a guy I met on the street. Seventh Avenue to be specific. I auditioned for a thing. Landed the thing. I killed a cockroach and its babies. I applied to be a dog walker.

I’m allergic to dogs.