Tag Archives: new zealand

WOOOO!: “Public health experts have long feared a new flu could appear and kill millions worldwide.”

So, I admit: My last blog post, in which I intended to find out what the deal is with Paul Mitchell, seems (a little) less important now that I sit here with my first sunburn of the 2009 season wondering what the deal is with this swine flu. 

Swine flu.  Bea Arthur dies and the world goes to complete shit. 

Photographs of people wearing medical masks and pigs gorging themselves on ominous heap piles are popping up everywhere!  And most confusing, none of my Facebook friends have written witty status updates about it.  Don’t they know what’s going on in Mexico, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Canada, Spain, and the US?!  Don’t know they know that Shia Labeouf and Harrison Ford have already signed on and are awaiting funds from the WHO and the CDC before proceeding?!

Between this and the anticipation of tomorrow night’s episode of “The Hills”…it’s shaping up to be a real doozy of a Monday.

Thoughts on going to the bathroom in Post-Christian-Bale-Freak-Out America

Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan were in the women’s room at the Queens Library today–a DVD of Rush Hour 2 was leaning upright behind the toilet seat (you know, right behind where you put your butt).  I would’ve liked to use that stall, except that it was kind of a disaster.  I don’t know about you, but I am all for unisex bathrooms.  I would love unisex bathrooms.  There are so many times when I’ve opted for the men’s room.  Usually, you know, when there are long lines for the women’s room and I’ve been drinking.  But I really do think it’s the more efficient way, as well as a way to improve gender relations, accomodate for the transgendered, and just make the whole discarding of bodily waste thing more interesting.  For example, one Halloween I was waiting for the stall in a men’s room and I was able to meet a man dressed up as Bruce Wayne at the urinal.  That makes, like, three action movie stars/characters I’ve come across in close proximity to a toilet.  And I get so much satisfaction from being able to say I picked up Bruce Wayne at the urinal.  Too much satisfaction.

Speaking of Bruce Wayne, I’m pretty bummed about Christian Bale’s freak-out.  Why is he so ANGRY?  (I cannot get this remix out of my head.)  He needs to find some inner peace and fast.  Maybe he can remake Seven Years in Tibet or something.  Seven Years in TibetAgain.  Brad Pitt and Christian Bale lie restlessly in a tent as prayer flags wave passionately in the Tibetan wind.  Ang Lee will direct it. 

Speaking of faraway lands, thanks to clicking on a Facebook link asking if I’d like to live and work in New Zealand, and subsequently signing up to learn more, I now receive e-mails with subject lines like, “New Zealand needs you,” and most recently, “Free New Zealand ice cream.”

I’ve also begun learning a little of the Maori language.  Kia ora!  (Hello!)   Aotearoa. (‘Land of the long white cloud’.)  I went onto the New Zealand government’s job site and found a librarian position in a prison: responsible for the delivery of library/educational services ‘behind the wire’ to offenders.   Which sounds really exciting!  Skip that whole inmate penpal thing and just get right to the source.  So if I ever do obtain my Master’s in Library Science degree…adventures behind the wire in the land of the long white cloud await me.

It’s Business Time

HBO is one of those luxuries that you just don’t appreciate when you have it–every time you turn it on they’re airing something you have no interest in watching, or something that you did have a slight interest in watching, but then they aired it seventeen times in one month and even though Elizabeth Hurley looked good in that devil suit, Brendan Frasier’s presence kind of ruined it.  The only times I’ve had HBO were in my college dorm room, at home during those annual free weekends they do, and I guess in the occasional hotel room.  Not that I’ve stayed in many hotel rooms–I was raised on damp, mildly enjoyable vacations in tents.  Anyway, now I find myself with only the basic channels, which is more than adequate, really, except that it means no Flight of the Conchords…