Tag Archives: police officers

Yay Vagina! Boo Certain Men in Uniform!

I don't know what the story is with this bicycle turned vagina, but it's clearly the best thing ever.

I don't know what the story is with this bicycle turned vagina, but it's clearly the best thing ever.

I went to see “The Vagina Monologues” at my alma mater tonight.  When we walked in, in order to be let through, we told the security guards we were going to see it, so naturally the word “vagina” was used. One of the security guards straight out giggled.  And another attempted a joke, saying, “Is that open to the public?”  It’s just like…really?  And if I say “boobies” are you going to piss your pants? 

Anyway.   They did a really great job with the monologues.  The proceeds of productions usually go to support woman’s anti-violence groups.  Groups that, unfortunately, still need the funding:

NYPD officer accused of raping East Village woman while drunk

A police officer is being investigated in the rape of an East Village woman he escorted home after being told she was too drunk to stand, law enforcement sources said.

The officer and his partner came to the woman after a cab driver called 911 on Dec. 7, telling cops she had vomited in his car and couldn’t find cab fare, the source said.

Law enforcement sources said they had surveillance video from the victim’s apartment building showing the two cops helping the drunken woman inside and returning to the building a second time more than a half hour later. The woman reported the rape to the Manhattan district attorney’s office, where officials are currently investigating the complaint, the source said.

Both cops, whose names were not released, were stripped of their guns and badges and placed on modified desk duty.

A lawyer for one of the officers, Stephen Worth, declined to comment.

NYPD Internal Affairs investigators searched both cops’ lockers and found one packet of heroin.

The officer accused of rape told colleagues he had forgotten to voucher the drugs after confiscating them in a separate case.

Both cops were given drug tests and passed.

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The Neurotic Little Puppy

I read this New Age-y book recently that presented a pretty thought-provoking theory.  The author was talking about fairy tales and children’s stories and how one in particular usually strikes a chord with us when we’re young and the reason it strikes a chord is because it reminds us of one of our neuroses that will continue to be a neurosis when we grow up.  The author said for her that story was the tale of the patchwork dress girl who shows up to a ball with a dress stitched out of lots of rags unlike the other girls who are wearing beautiful gowns.  The girl hides in a closet because she’s ashamed of her dress…then a handsome prince finds her and appreciates her handiwork or something stupid.

Clearly I don’t really remember the details, but the author boiled it down to something like–she’s interested in lots of things, not just one thing, so instead of becoming an expert at one thing she’s just mediocre at lots of things.  I guess that’s her neurosis.

This got me thinking about my childhood (because who doesn’t like to analyze their neuroses?).  The only book I could think of that struck a chord was one from The Poky Little Puppy series.  This one was scratch and sniff.  The Poky Little Puppy goes off with his puppy siblings to find birthday presents for their mom.  Poky’s siblings get lemonade or cotton candy or a bucket of apples and call it a day (the lemonade was my favorite thing to scratch).  But Poky has a hell of a time finding the perfect present.  It’s really sad.  He’s the ultimate people pleaser.  So maybe that’s my neurosis?  Yeah, I think so.  It especially rears its ugly neurotic head around these gift-giving times of the year. 

I used to be really good about making gift lists and crossing off names and putting a lot of thought into the whole process.  Now it’s December 17th and I’m like WTF?  How did this happen.  My urge to procrastinate has outweighed my people pleasing urge!  But I had an idea after I woke up, while I was still in bed.  It involves gingerbread and frosting and candy.  Or maybe I’ll just walk across the street to the 99 cent store next to the strip club and call it a day. 

 

Speaking of puppies, I have my own theory.  I bet police officers who work with police dogs live longer than non-K-9 unit police officers.  Because animals make you happy.  And happiness keeps you healthy.  And healthy, happy people live longer!

Serving Edina, Minnesota where the city slogan goes, "...for living, learning, raising families & doing business." Don't mess with those American values.

Further research will need to be conducted to see if the theory applies to Tom Hanks.

Further research will need to be conducted to see if the theory applies to Tom Hanks.