Tag Archives: romance

Four weddings and a quote about a funeral

It’s been an epic Labor Day weekend. Wedding Four of the summer was attended, thus concluding the Summer of Four Weddings.

From all this exposure to vows and receptions and DJs, I’ve concluded that I have no idea what kind of wedding I myself would have were I to have one. Unlike Jennifer Lopez in 2001’s The Wedding Planner, I didn’t spend my every waking moment as a child planning how I would get hitched to Matthew McConaughey. (I think it involved a Breyer horse ridden to a chapel and then a tiny woman being carried over the threshold of a doll house.)

In the lead up to Wedding Four, by accident or perhaps by no accident at all, I happened to be reading Dan Savage’s book about gay marriage and the overall institution of marriage, The Commitment. I initially picked it up because I was looking for inspiration to continue with my own book-writing, and I’ve always appreciated the no-nonsense style of Savage’s advice column. The subject matter of Savage’s book, as summed up in the subtitle, was a draw, too: “Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family.”

I didn’t know it for a while, but I’m a romantic. I eschewed serious romantic relationships for a long time, instead getting a sad vicarious fix from romantic comedies like, yeah, The Wedding Planner. I’ve since taken a long, hard look at myself and my fears and exactly what was prompting my plan to turn into a lonely reclusive cat woman and thankfully, I no longer have much use for Matthew McConaughey. (Note: I still plan to be a semi-reclusive cat woman, I’ve just nixed the lonely part.)

Back to Dan Savage. A signature viewpoint of his that he brings up in his column, podcast, and in this book, is that a relationship doesn’t need to necessary last for years and years for it to be deemed a success. Therefore, even if a marriage ends in painful divorce, it shouldn’t automatically be categorized as a failure. Likewise, he says it’s too bad that marriages are only deemed a success when “death do us part.”

Toward the end of one chapter, Savage shares a short excerpt from Ovid’s Metamorphoses about a couple who helps traveling-in-disguise gods Jupiter and Mercury. The couple is hospitable and in return they receive a favor. They redeem it by asking that neither of them outlive the other: “Since we have spent our happy years together, / May one hour take us both away.”

Savage writes, “That’s how I want to go–with Terry, not before him, neither of us outliving the other. Death is a perverse measure of success, as I said, and I don’t believe that someone has to die in order for a relationship to be considered a success. But I live in hope that when our time comes, after many more happy years together, we’re both taken to Maloney’s [Funeral Home] on the same day, at the same hour.”

You know that’s some serious romance because not only did Ovid write about it, but so did Nicholas effin’ Sparks in his book turned movie The Notebook. (Spoiler Alert:) James Garner and Gena Rowlands dead and HOLDING HANDS in a nursing home bed together–that scene alone provided months of vicarious romantic satisfaction.

Hmm. What’s my point. Weddings. Love. Family. If I’ve learned one thing this summer, it’s that I’m pro those things. Maybe not holding one of my own, but I’m at least pro attending weddings. And I’m pro family. They’re good fodder for books. And love! I’m so pro love that I leave you with a compilation of all four of the first dance songs I’ve experienced this summer in chronological wedding order:

A video that mistakes Fred Astaire for Frank Sinatra at one point:

Lyrics that truly encapsulate love: “Cause every time I see your bubbly face, / I get the tingles in a silly place”:

A video tribute to Carrie Underwood that features a country song, but not one of her own:

And finally, a wonderfully bizarre mix of random images paired with movie stills and posters from Titanic and Moulin Rouge:

Redneck Weekend ’08

The wise men of Oasis once said, “Don’t look back in anger.”  An even wiser man, George Michael once said, “I gotta think twice.”  Yesterday I was feeling pretty stressed out financially, professionally, romantically, metaphysically.  But today I woke up and I thought to myself, you know what?  It really doesn’t matter because I’m going line dancing tonight. 

It’s one of my best friend’s birthdays tomorrow, so she planned this whole weekend full of hick-tastic, redneck festivities.  Which is usually how weekends go with her, anyway.  We’ve been going to this line dancing club, Illusions, for a couple years now.  It’s in the middle of nowhere in Connecticut.  You walk in and it’s like entering a new dimension (probably).  Guys in NASCAR t-shirts and relaxed fit Levis, girls in other crazy stuff, and the weirdest thing is…everyone is an expert line dancer.  EVERYONE.  We’ve always ended up there on a Friday or Saturday night, but tonight, if you’ve been keeping track, is a Thursday.  Thursday nights at Illusions are instructional nights.  So we’re going to learn how to Boot Scoot Buggy and Devil Went Down to Georgia with the best of them.  Because every song has its own unique dance.  It’s so bizarre and beautiful.

My friend met her ex-boyfriend because of an Illusions trip.  I would not recommend this.  

Then Friday night is the last country concert of our country megaticket.  If you’ve never been to a country concert, you really are missing out.  Such good tailgating.  And everyone pretends to be a hick, so it’s fun to decide who really is and who is just pretending.  And people OD and stuff like at normal concerts.

Then Saturday we’re going to the Big E, or the Eastern States Exposition.  It’s just this huge, excessive fair.  You can get fried dough and you can get the latest in kitchen cleaning supplies (as seen on tv).  So that’s fun. 

You may be wondering where I’m getting the funds to do all this, and I’m wondering that myself.  Netflix did agree to give me back my $18.01 yesterday, though!  Which surprised me.  FYI, if you ever need to call Netflix, their customer service number is not on their website.  You have to go to this other website called Hacking Netflix to find it. 

You may also be wondering what you can do for fun this weekend.  This looks slightly more redneck than what I’m doing, but Nick’s GQ Birthday sounds pretty awesome, too.  If you’re a dude you’re gonna have to wax your eyebrows and make sure you have hair gel by the gallon for that one.  But have a blast.