Tag Archives: swine flu

Snouts and such.

This photo makes me think of The Winter’s Tale — that whole statue come to life bit.  Art imitating life, life imitating art. Who knew surgical masks could be so ironic? It’s kind of like that Aerosmith video, too, in which the computer nerd creates and brings to life his perfect woman: Alicia Silverstone. 

Okay, it’s nothing like that.  But so long as I’m on the topic–I was thinking about this the other day: I’m convinced that watching hypersexual music videos on MTV and VH1 had an effect on me–particularly that *NSync one: “Baby, I can’t understand / Just why we can’t be lovers”.  Still deciding whether the effect was adverse or not…  (And before I switch topics again–I need to bring up Liv Tyler pumping gas in those leather pants.  Dear Stephen, your mouth terrifies me, but I like your scarves and I like your daughter…)

Okay, enough about my childhood.  I hate to admit this, but…thinking about the apocalypse gets me off.  It captures my imagination.  And it’s not just me–everyone loves a tragedy.  No one feels as alive as when the possibility of death is unignorably imminent (which must explain why Keith Richards is still kicking).  We spend so much of our lives ignoring our mortality that when it comes barking at the door, we’re not surprised–we send grandma to the store to grab some biscuits and a chew toy. 

So, yeah.  Swine flu.  Apocalypse next week?  Probably not.  But it’s still sorta fun to think about.  And it also puts the pressure on.  It brings to mind Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dyin'” in which the man with the two months to live diagnosis finally embraces life by going fishing and ditching his pride to grow a pair and tell people he loves them. 

Shit.  Country songs can be surprisingly profound.  What should I be doing with my existence?  Shouldn’t a possible apocalypse via pig-related pandemic be enough to open my eyes to the answer?  It’s gotta be something bigger than writing a blog post about Liv Tyler’s ass.  But then again, maybe it doesn’t.

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WOOOO!: “Public health experts have long feared a new flu could appear and kill millions worldwide.”

So, I admit: My last blog post, in which I intended to find out what the deal is with Paul Mitchell, seems (a little) less important now that I sit here with my first sunburn of the 2009 season wondering what the deal is with this swine flu. 

Swine flu.  Bea Arthur dies and the world goes to complete shit. 

Photographs of people wearing medical masks and pigs gorging themselves on ominous heap piles are popping up everywhere!  And most confusing, none of my Facebook friends have written witty status updates about it.  Don’t they know what’s going on in Mexico, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Canada, Spain, and the US?!  Don’t know they know that Shia Labeouf and Harrison Ford have already signed on and are awaiting funds from the WHO and the CDC before proceeding?!

Between this and the anticipation of tomorrow night’s episode of “The Hills”…it’s shaping up to be a real doozy of a Monday.