Tag Archives: the cult of celebrity

Another Contributor to Chronic Depression and Boyish Giggle Fits

I really don’t want to talk about Ryan Seacrest, except to ask, who is letting him create all these crappy reality television series that are contributing to the downfall of society and WHY?  Who knew that he’d rise from co-host of American Idol with Brian Dunkleman to this uncontrollable executive producer of soul-rotting reality television??  I mean, I love Keeping Up With The Kardashians as much as the next girl, (Where else can you turn for answers about what to do when your mom accidentally distributes a naughty calendar meant for Reggie Bush to all the localhahahaha newsstands?  That episode helped me in profound ways.) but when will it stop??

The one thing that redeems Keeping Up With The Kardashians (slightly) is Bruce Jenner.  I especially like his silly plastic surgery face and how he flees the house every chance he gets to play golf.  But then again, any man that is responsible for producing Brody Jenner has some explaining to do. 

 

Brody Jenner, thanks to his appearances on The Hills, is getting his own competition-based reality show on MTV called “Bromance.”  Basically…pathetic, materialistic, unhappy young men compete to take Spencer Pratt’s place in Jenner’s posse of pathetic, materialistic, unhappy young men who are soon-to-be off everyone’s Hollywood radar.  But until then, the ratings will afford Seacrest infinite lifetimes worth of teeth whitening treatments:

It reminds me of the beginning of Clueless, except that it’s “reality.”  I like how Lauren Conrad shows up to ask, “One night stands.  What’s your opinion of them?”  Cue boyish giggle fit!  I also like when Brody goes, “Who knew guys cry this much?”  Maybe they’re crying because it’s a sad day when young men aspire to be one of your bros.  When Frankie, a current Brody bro, showed up on an episode The Kardashians  he taped the two youngest girls (age 13 and 11) POLE DANCING.   

Anyway, the only silver lining I see in all this is more material for The Soup. 

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Unapologetically -ilfy things.

A few posts ago, I complained about a man I met who had been wearing an “I Heart Hot Moms” shirt.  I’ve been getting a lot of hits from the tag word “MILFs” ever since, which got me thinking about the moms who would be on my MILF list (if I had one).  The only -ilfy thing I ever did was join the “Danny Tanner is a DILF” Facebook group.  Something about Bob Saget being so unapologetically raunchy deserves respect.  Gumption is sexy.  I think that’s why Roseanne makes my hypothetical MILF list.  And Rosie O’Donnell.  My mom has no respect for Rosie because of her big mouth, but that’s the very reason I do.  Plus, the photo on her craft book is so good!  Look how beautiful her family is.  And what a punny title!

My MILF list is definitely a work in progress, but along with Roseanne and Rosie and each and every Golden Girl, it would have to include Jennifer Garner.  She makes the best romantic comedies.  And she’s married to Ben Affleck, who I also thought about putting on the MILF list, but perhaps he would be better on the already in progress BILF list (Bens I’d Like to Fuck):

Sir Ben Kingsly, Ben E. King, Benedict Arnold, and Benji

Sir Ben Kingsley, Ben E. King, Benedict Arnold, Benji. Obviously.