Tag Archives: the military

Dear Jason Mesnick: Give Me Back My Feminist Soul. Hugs and kisses, Tom Cruise

Doesn't it look like every class picture you ever had taken? I always got that traditional blue background because it was the cheapest one. Meanwhile, the kids with money always had the purple swirls or the barn door in the background...

Oh man.  I just remembered that tonight is the finale of “The Bachelor.”  I’ll only be able to watch a half hour of Jason Mesnick before I have to go to work, but that’s all right.  Chris Harrison (the completely unnecessary host) spends the majority of the 2 hours recapping all the uninteresting things that have happened on the show, anyway. 

If you are a woman, you can literally feel the independent spirit leaving your body while you watch it.  It’s an amazing and horrible feeling.  Yet still I watch…

Other than that, it was a super busy weekend.  I’m still feeling a bit deer-in-headlights.  My dad’s retirement party was Friday night, so I got all jazzed up to hang out with military men and women I don’t know.  My two brothers kept leaving the banquet hall to hide out at the bar, and I kept offering to retrieve them in an effort to grab drinks of my own.  It was a good night, though.  My dad’s relationship with the military is far too complex for me to comment on, and my own feelings about the military as a result of his involvement…well, I’m still trying to figure those out. 

There was this funny/awkward/nice moment during the ceremony.  My dad’s boss calls my mom up to the stage.  And you can tell from her face that she’s thinking, “There’s no way I’m going up there.”  But then she does.  Because you can’t say no to militant  Type A personalities.  She’s presented with this award that’s basically like…thanks for putting up with all the bullshit involved in being married to a guy in the military for all these years.  Because if there are two things I’ve learned about the military…it’s not all Tom Cruise in aviators, and it’s also not men from gay pride websites in camo pants pouring canteen water over perfectly formed pectorals that flirt with the fake dog collars draped on their sternums. 

Oh, it’s also not this three and a half minute piece of propoganda that plays at the multiplex:

Craigslist opportunity I’m crazy/bored/curious enough to pursue?

Hmmmmm…  I’m attending my father’s retirement party celebrating his nearly 40 years in the Air National Guard next week–it might be fun to spring a marriage to a random Army man on him.  No?

Looking for the Perfect Travel Companion (Anywhere)

Looking for a woman who wants to see the world. Must marry me temporarily. We’ll travel the world for a year plus, then get the marriage annulled. I’m a published author, looking to take advantage of my free travel with the army to inspire me for my next big work with a girl that’s up for a random and interesting trip.