Tag Archives: yes man

Every Day is Earth Day: Sea Kittens and Six-Pack Rings

In the past two days, while walking the New York City streets, I’ve found two of those plastic six-pack holder rings on the ground.  The first one was on Park Avenue, and the second one was just up the street from my apartment.  I picked both of them up because, well, I feel bad about plastic.  Also, I just finished reading Yes Man (no, I haven’t seen the movie, yet, and it’s like…who really takes the time to read books adapted into Jim Carrey vehicles?, but…I’ve been on a non-fiction kick and it was written by this British guy so there’s the occasional “bollocks” and “loo” and lots of tea drinking).  Anyway, I’m kind of impressionable, so I guess the thought has been, YES, I will pick up more trash.

I ❤ gills.

As I was picking up the second ring, I got to thinking…this is probably one of those things that got blown way out of proportion and doesn’t even make a huge difference.  And according to the one, decade-old source I bothered to find, I was right!  Cecil Adams says:

The fact is…that the six-pack-ring threat has been greatly exaggerated. According to the Center for Marine Conservation, only 50,000 of the 10.4 million items collected during the 1998 cleanup (0.48 percent) were six-pack rings. Between 1988 and 1998, U.S. cleanups uncovered 1,089 instances of animal entanglement, but only 72 (7 percent) involved six-pack rings. The real offenders were monofilament fishing line, fishhooks, and lures, implicated in 461 cases (42 percent). Add in crab and lobster traps, nets, and related equipment, and we find that fishing gear accounts for almost half of all entanglements.

Oh, and this is a fun fact: “All rings currently made will degrade in sunlight in a few weeks or months, depending on the season.”

But yeah, I’m still going to pick them up and stretch each ring out until it’s just a big floppy piece instead of a potential deathtrap.  And you know, at first that whole “Save the Sea Kittens” campaign by PETA seemed really ridiculous, and it still does, but they really are adorable.  You can even make your own sea kitten by selecting the type of fish (trout, salmon, tuna, or flounder) adorning it with hair, ears, sunglasses, a unicorn horn, et cetera, and then giving it a name.  It’s a pretty amazing experience.  I made a flounder with surgically enhanced lips, a fu manchu moustache, and a tiara that I named Meg Ryan. 

I read some AP article about the sea kitten campaign and it was kind of awesome because they interviewed children in a small Alaskan fishing town where a girl replied, “I don’t think of fish as sea kittens, I think of them as food.”  That may just be her mercury poisoning speaking, but sounds like my kind of girl: no nonsense with a hearty appetite.

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Too Much Quirk?

There are too many publishing jobs on Craigslist requiring knowledge of that damn Quark software.  There is also a soft cheese called Quark that hails from Eastern Europe.  I’ve never tried it, so I can’t say if there can be too much of that, but too much cheese is usually never a good thing.  Oh, this is exciting–“The Quark” is the narrowest segment of the Baltic Sea between Sweden and Finland.  Its only claim to fame is there being very little of it, so it’s really not in its best interest for there to be too much more of it.  And then there are those quarky subatomic particles, but I digress.  What I’m getting at is, there can indeed be too much quark, but no, there cannot be too much quirk.

I’ve been itching to dedicate a post to Zooey Deschanel lately.  Every time I see a trailer for Yes Man I remember how much I love her.  In this week’s Onion Keith Phipps reviews Yes Man and describes Deschanel as a “go-to quirk-provider.”  Reading that was a bit of a revelation for me because I have a strange obsession with quirkiness and it’s gotten worse since I’ve graduated college for some reason.  It’s to the point where I can’t pick up a book unless it’s at least as quirky as something by Tom Robbins.  Same with films.  If it’s got Bill Murray having a life crisis of some kind, I’m there.  Anyway, apparently I look for quirk in my leading ladies, too. 

I haven’t seen everything she’s been in, but Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy makes me cry it’s so perfectly quirky.  I really need to read the actual Douglas Adams books.  Also, she was pretty much the only redeemable thing in Failure to Launch, that ridiculous Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy.  Then, thanks to Pandora, I came across her music:

 I want to make music like that.  Dammit.  Except the tone of my voice is more comparable to, say, Bing Crosby’s pa rum pum pum pums in this quirky duet with David Bowie:

Okay, that might be more awkward than quirky.  Anyway, one final Zooey Deschanel clip.  Probably my favorite.  1. Because she has such a good voice, and 2. Because she’s naked.  Okay, really just because she’s naked.