Tag Archives: baking

The. perfect. job. (For someone.)

Do you have 3-5 years of experience baking from scratch AND have the desire to live in Antarctica for 6 months?

Then this is the perfect job for you: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/fbh/2535316239.html

Job listings like that are so exciting to me.  You know that somewhere out there, someone is going to see that job posting and say, “Oh my God, this is exactly what I’ve been waiting for.  This. is. my. perfect. job.  This blends my lifelong dream to live in Antarctica with my lifelong passion for baking from scratch.  There is a God and God loves me and flowers and rainbows and kittens that can’t quite open their eyes.”

I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I didn’t repost that ad in attempt to bring that person and this job together.

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Drinking malt beverages, pickin’ up hos–you know, just another Saturday night.

Do you ever take a moment to reflect upon what you’re doing at any given time and find yourself thinking things like, “Wow.  I never thought I’d find myself spending a year in Malawi with the Peace Corps!”  Or, “This is absolutely insane.  I’m about to sign my name on this release form at which point network executives will have full authority to edit everything I do and say for the next four months however they maliciously see fit in order to procure the highest ratings.”   

My moment came about ten minutes ago as I was readying my camera to take a photograph of the banana bread I’d just baked, a photograph that I would then e-mail to my mom along with a message saying something along the lines of, “Look what I did on my Saturday night!”  So, yeah.  I realized that I’m swiftly turning not into the extremely cool, edgy woman I assumed I’d be, and instead into…I don’t know.  A pathetic, bread-eating woman who listens to Rod Stewart at a reasonable volume so as not to disturb the neighbors she occasionally hears having sex next door.  I’m becoming that aunt who you see on the holidays.  She always has crumbs on her improperly buttoned shirt and she’s alarmingly out of touch with current events and popular culture. 

Okay, I don’t really think I’m that far gone, but there is still some cause for concern.  But, seriously–the bread turned out really good.  I’m not going to force you to look at it, because that would be a new low for me, but if you want to look at how awesome my banana bread turned out… click here!